rock my socks

I felt for sure last night
At once we said goodbye
No one else will know these lonely dreams
No one else will know that part of me
Im still driving away
And Im sorry every day
I wont always love these selfish things
I wont always live…
Stop it…

It was my turn to decide
I knew this was our time
No one else will have me like you do
No one else will have me, only you

Youll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
Im here and now Im ready
Holding on tight
Dont give away the end
The one thing that stays mine

Amazing still it seems
Ill be 23
I wont always love what I’ll never have
I wont always live in my regrets

–"23" by Jimmy Eat World

Meantime Girl
No Pressure, No Worries.
by Jan Javier

-She’s the one you can call when you need an instant date to your next party.
-She’s the first person you can think of calling when you had a fight with "the girl"
-She willingly gives you the "woman’s perspective" on anything without getting all emotional and sentimental about every single thing.
-There’s no awkward silence in your conversations and you never have to worry about making stupid jokes just to fill the silence because you know, she will make you feel silly about your corny jokes.
-She can come up with a million definitions for "moron" and "idiot" and she’s not afraid to use them on you. She’s brutally honest and she hits you more times than you care to count.
-And of course, beyond her i-don’t-need-a-man exterior, she has that peculiar, almost adorable way of making you feel that what you say or do actually matters.
-She can tell almost instantly when you’re feeling bad about something and offer you a quick trip to the nearest coffee place so you can talk about emotional stuff without feeling like an idiot (strangely enough, these talks don’t feel as strangulating as when you have the "real talk" with the "real" girl). She is always available when you need to talk or to hang out with anyone else who can talk about anything other than basketball. And it’s almost amazing that you’ve never actually pictured her to take the place of "the girl" even when you can almost swear you two have had your "moments". Of which, you can remember her giving you the don’t-you-dare-fall-in-love-with-me look that she seemed
to have perfected over the years.
-What you feel for her is something so difficult to define that it wouldn’t be fair to consider possibilities of anything romantic happening between the two of you. Plus, the fact that you know more about her personal life, i.e. her past dating experiences than any other guy, makes you feel that going beyond friendship would mean betraying her trust.

So instead, meantime boy, you prefer to keep quiet and enjoy the company of the meantime girl. It’s comforting because it’s safe. There are no expectations to take things to the next level. No pressure. No real worries. Plus, being with her has tested all your capabilities to be with "the one". And when that time comes, you know that all the conflicting emotions you have for the meantime girl would dissolve. Though in the back of your mind, you hope that this "meantime-ness" would remain and that your meantime girl wouldn’t rush to be someone else’s forever. You’d hope she’ll be by your side to pick you up in case you fall down again. Really, there is no reason to doubt the value of her existence. You have reason to hope for the best in your future relationships. After all, you’ve had years and years of practice.

I have received an email like this a year ago. i love it. it was perfectly done. I was A MEANTIME GIRL. yes, it is a better way of saying panakip butas but either or, it’s still the same thing–only better.

How about you, are you a meantime girl?

This is gonna be a long entry. Forgive me if i end up writing senseless stuff. who cares? This is my blog. 

I am happy. I really am, I have lots of reasons to smile.

14. SUN CEL. Sabe ko date NEVER ako mag sa-sun. Oh well, I ate my word. Ansaya pala pag nka-sun ka. Andameng nagtetext sayo. Grabe, hindi ko to na feel sa globe.  HAHA. I feel loved.

13. TULOG. 8 hours of sleeping = feels like heaven. HAHA

12. JOKES. May joke ka ba? Jokes crack me up. Share kayo saken ng corny jokes na nakakatawa. anlabo. Keep them comin.

11. GONUTS DONUTS. Never mind the calories. Deym, ewan ko, natutuwa talaga ko pag nakakakita ko ng box ng gonuts sa ref. kahit box lang. HAHA. Whatever Lara.

10. ST. SCHO. I used to hate this friggin school. ngayon ko lang naiintindihan yung reasons nung school. Wala nga kameng prom, who cares? May Ms. Gabor naman kame.I bet, Kami lang may ganito.

9. ST.SCHO FRIENDS. Miss ko na kayo mga beyotch.i’ve never said this before pero anlakas ng impluensya nyo sa saken. Especially to these people, (arranged randomly)  Gee, Arlene, Tins, Pauline, Janine, Faith, Fats(miss na kita, super!), Leah, Mei, Margie, Angela E, Greys, Danielle,Miggy, Maral, Gran, Carla, Mikah, Angge, Mina, Bianca P., Majo R. Maiti, Arcel, Borja,Vero. Michelle, Monica P., Ricci,Artri, Poala(bear. HAHA), Bogs, Pavia, Sara, Sheena, Aimee, Mica, Carissa, Olga. (not all are mentioned here, I think) Lahat kayo, napangiti ako. Yeaboi. Thank you for making my highschool days worth remembering. Totoo pala yun, Once a scholastican, Always a Scholastican. 

8. P5- Bia.Elaine.Jazzy.Jerm. Thank you sa pagiging true friends & good influence (yeah ryt). You’re still my original. Wag nyo kong ipagpapalit sa blockmates nyo ah. 

7.BLOCKMATES. 1A am = Da bomb!. HAHA. Hot talaga tayo. shempre, cream of the ‘crap’ eh. HAHA. Seriously speaking, hindi ko ineexpect na mababaet pala kayo.ooops.PERO.. Nagsisisi ako dahil naging judgemental ako.I admit, i was wrong. Enjoy pala kasama mga tao dito. Hindi ako friendly,pero for the first time, lahat ng nasa class gusto ko maging friends. Oh well. not just friends, MORE than friends. as in ‘chums’ HAHA. Simple apirs, hi-hellos, hirits, jokes are all appreciated. Dahil sa inyo, Mas gusto ko na tiger kesa eagle. More so, hindi ko pagpapalit sa 1A mid ang 1A am. :p

6. Spermatias. 2 weeks in a row na kong hindi nasusungitan. ho00oo. Achievement.

5. HISTORY. Past is past. Present is present. Slow is slow. Nakapagmove on na ko. huh. (I don’t remember who you are. I dont remember how we were–closure, esphonge koala)

4. HOPE AND CHANCES. Buti na lang di mo ko pinaasa, kundi sisipain kita.

3. STRANGERS. Nastranded ako sa LRT kanina sa Pureza, 1 station na lang hindi pa nakahome base. Hindi ko alam kung pano pumunta sa UST from Pureza, dapat nga uuwi na lang ako kaya lang.. hindi ko rin alam kung pano. HAHA. badtrip. naiiyak na ko buti na lang may lumapet na dalawang strangers 1 lalake & 1 babae(whose earrings i love to death) magboyfriend yata sila. tinanong nila kung anong school ko, sabe ko, Ateneo. de joke lang, sabe ko UST. tapos sila daw UP Manila. Pinasabay nila ko sa kanila try daw namen yung jeep papuntang Avenida.
Nag-offer pa silang ilibre yung pamasahe ko. pero nahiya naman ako, kaya wag na lang. Pinababa nila ko sa Legarda, yun alam ko na kung san yun. Nagbabye na ko & thank you sa kanila. Nung palakad na ko sa UST, Dun ko lang narealize ko na hindi na  nga safe sa Pinas yet sumama ko sa strangers. What if nagkataon na skwater ugali nung stranger na nag-offer ng tulong. Deym, katangahan ko talaga.
pero mas katangahan yung hindi ko alam magcommute from pureza-UST. HAHA. who cares? hindi naman ako kidnap-prone.. rape-prone lang. JOKE. haii..
Whatever Lara. Anyhoo, Im still alive and kickin. Totoo pa lang may mababaet na tao pa sa mundo. Salamat sa 2 strangers na taga-UP Manila na tumulong saken pumuntang UST. Thank you, God.

2. STANDING OVATION. may inside story to. (think: something in common ni Ryan Agoncillo, Drew Arellano, & JC de Vera). Magwild guess na lang kayo. Just Look up.

1. BEAUTIFUL SOUL. This is a secret and i wont tell. pakshet. hindi mo alam to. whoever you are, thanks for making me smile. COOL ka talaga. Hindi nyo to mahuhulaan. Give it up.

‘Im tired of hiding behind this lying eyes
Im tired of this smile that even I don’t recognize
Do you know I cry?..
Do you know I die?..
And its not the good kind.’– Good Kind, The Wreckers.

"A smile happens in a flash, but its memory can last a lifetime."
"Don’t cry for a man who’s left you, the next one may fall for your smile." –Mae West
"A smile starts on the lips, A grin spreads to the eyes, A chuckle comes from the belly; But a good laugh bursts forth from the soul, Overflows, and bubbles all around" –Carolyn Birmingham
"If someone is too tired to give you a smile, leave one of your own, because no one needs a smile as much as those who have none to give"- Anonymous
"Smile - It’s the second best thing you can do with your lips."-Anonymous
"Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love." -Anonymous
"Because of your smile, you make life more beautiful." -Anonymous

Come on let’s all SMILE. ÜÜÜ

Whatever Lara.

I can’t believe i’m actually doing this. HAHA. Blogging isn’t my thing. I’m not really the kind of person who likes to write my thoughts and experiences and stuff, especially in this manner for everyone to read, but I’ll give it a shot anyway. I know that I’m probably a lousy writer, but it doesn’t matter because this would probably be my FIRST and LAST entry.

What’s wrong with me? for some reason i’m feeling depressed right now and i can’t explain why. The worst part is that me, of all people have no reason to be sad. Maybe, it’s because I haven’t cried for a looooong time. You know that feeling when you want to cry but no tears are coming out. It’s like you can’t tell it to anyone but you have to let your feelings out.  I swear, it’s the worst feeling ever. Tell me, am i the only one feeling this way? I hope not.

Everything makes me sad.

On the brighter side, absent yung English prof ko kanina. HAHA. besides that, wala ng ibang bright side.

Im just going to share something from Miss Alabama,
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever," — Miss Alabama in the 1994

Come to think of it. Tama siya. Logic lang yan. HAHA

Believe in soulmates? Based from what Im seeing, it seems like everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone, to have a deep relationship and  be loved exclusively. Know what? Im all content and satisfied watching these people searching for ‘perfect love.’ SILLY. I stopped wishing and planning. *hindi pa yata ikaw yun*  I guess it’s nice to know that SOMEONE has a plan for EACH of us and that EVERYTHING that happens, happens for a reason.

Just have a little Faith…

Come on let’s fall in love.